Wednesday, November 30
> It hasnt been a very fair thing to me.
It had been a tremendous grey week for me since i dont know when. Ive been thinking a lot, and feeling really crestfallen when i realised how much people around me have changed into.
Its pretty depressing and disappointing when people around me who used to care so much for me start to change to the extent whereby they no longer bother about my existence. It sure dampened my mood greatly. Especially when my friends around start to get attached, im drifting further and further apart from them, and i dont like it at all.
I mean, why cant things be the same before one get attached and after? Or why cant a guy and a girl be just normal close friends and their significant other feel more positive about it? I just dont get it.
Or should i just say that ive been too selfish and i just want the best of all things. It might be due to the fact that i havent been in a relationship for such a long time, it was almost impossible for me to put myself in somebody's else shoes, to feel that it is necessary to step aside and let the couple spend every minute of their time together, while i, continue to lead a loner's life.
I would have to agree that yes, i do have a hell lot more guy friends than girls. And it is also a matter of fact that close friends around me are mostly from the opposite gender. But in my point of view, who cares what gender my close friends belong to, i treat em all the same - a really close friend.
People said that a guy and a girl can never remain to just being great pals. But i gotta disagree with that, because throughout all these years, ive made a lot of close friends who are males, and there wasnt any spark or chemistry that would pull or bring us to a higher status than great pals.
Like for example, Kenny. My great brother whom ive known for 5 years. We caught countless movies together, met up for dinner together, go on a shopping spree and even spent 2 valentine's day together, just the two of us. And there isnt any sparks between us. Neither do i see any reasons why his ex girlfriend would loathe me so much.
Or Gabriel for instance. My neighbour i knew since i moved over to my current residence. A great friend who had always been there when i needed him. Meeting up at the void deck to chill, smoke and just chitchat, updating about each other's life, or to study or go for supper. He's the one who knows my darkest secret, a friend i always trusted and could rely on. But it isnt really the case now because his girlfriend, loathe me too. But no, no sparks between us either.
And Wayne. A friend that i would talk to when i have my ups and downs. Going for supper everytime we're hungry, meeting up at HongKong Cafe just to chill, relax and update about each other's life. Helping and giving ideas about relationship problems, being there for each other. Still no, no sparks for each other too.
The worst of all was Jeffrey. I only met him once 2 Christmas ago, just to exchange a little X'mas gift we promised each other. He was with his ex girlfriend then, and ironically, she hates me too! I seriously have no idea what was the reason behind it, because i wasnt even as close to him than any of my other guy friends.
And i too, have known Hengkai for 5 years. Studying for O levels together, always hanging out with that group of icytongers since i was 14. Now, we're in the same course so naturally we sit beside each other in every single lectures, study together during every single tests or examinations, and of cos, there wasnt any sparks between us, because we both know we are just good friends!
So why cant my other close guy friends' girlfriends understand that there would be no possiblity that i would by any chance fall for them because we're purely friends. Period. If by any chance i would fall for any of my close guy friends, i would have fell in love with them a long time ago since ive already knew them for so many years!
So you mean i gotta start leaving my close guy friends once they get attached? Then wouldnt that leave me with minimal friends already? I mean, what's the big fuss over a girl who just happens to be a close friend of your boyfriend?
If i were to have a boyfriend, im sure i wouldnt restrict him to hang out with his close girl friends whom he had known for a good few years. Because there should be mutual trust and confidence in each other. No?
And then i start pondering, are my opinions about such stuffs too biased? I should have put myself into their girlfriend's shoes and feel that it is not right to be too close to their rightful possession.
But sorry, i would have to say that that are bullshits.
I am not cheap, not a slut, nor a bitch who wanna be a third party in anyone's relationship. I am just myself, strongly holding on to a friendship that i feel is important to me, because i treat friendships as a very serious matter.
And i can also predict that many others, friends or foes who chanced upon this entry, would start bad-mouthing, cursing and swearing at me.
Am i wrong to say what ive mentioned above? Is my opinion of friends vs relationship wrong?
Or maybe, i am really wrong.
It had been a tremendous grey week for me since i dont know when. Ive been thinking a lot, and feeling really crestfallen when i realised how much people around me have changed into.
Its pretty depressing and disappointing when people around me who used to care so much for me start to change to the extent whereby they no longer bother about my existence. It sure dampened my mood greatly. Especially when my friends around start to get attached, im drifting further and further apart from them, and i dont like it at all.
I mean, why cant things be the same before one get attached and after? Or why cant a guy and a girl be just normal close friends and their significant other feel more positive about it? I just dont get it.
Or should i just say that ive been too selfish and i just want the best of all things. It might be due to the fact that i havent been in a relationship for such a long time, it was almost impossible for me to put myself in somebody's else shoes, to feel that it is necessary to step aside and let the couple spend every minute of their time together, while i, continue to lead a loner's life.
I would have to agree that yes, i do have a hell lot more guy friends than girls. And it is also a matter of fact that close friends around me are mostly from the opposite gender. But in my point of view, who cares what gender my close friends belong to, i treat em all the same - a really close friend.
People said that a guy and a girl can never remain to just being great pals. But i gotta disagree with that, because throughout all these years, ive made a lot of close friends who are males, and there wasnt any spark or chemistry that would pull or bring us to a higher status than great pals.
Like for example, Kenny. My great brother whom ive known for 5 years. We caught countless movies together, met up for dinner together, go on a shopping spree and even spent 2 valentine's day together, just the two of us. And there isnt any sparks between us. Neither do i see any reasons why his ex girlfriend would loathe me so much.
Or Gabriel for instance. My neighbour i knew since i moved over to my current residence. A great friend who had always been there when i needed him. Meeting up at the void deck to chill, smoke and just chitchat, updating about each other's life, or to study or go for supper. He's the one who knows my darkest secret, a friend i always trusted and could rely on. But it isnt really the case now because his girlfriend, loathe me too. But no, no sparks between us either.
And Wayne. A friend that i would talk to when i have my ups and downs. Going for supper everytime we're hungry, meeting up at HongKong Cafe just to chill, relax and update about each other's life. Helping and giving ideas about relationship problems, being there for each other. Still no, no sparks for each other too.
The worst of all was Jeffrey. I only met him once 2 Christmas ago, just to exchange a little X'mas gift we promised each other. He was with his ex girlfriend then, and ironically, she hates me too! I seriously have no idea what was the reason behind it, because i wasnt even as close to him than any of my other guy friends.
And i too, have known Hengkai for 5 years. Studying for O levels together, always hanging out with that group of icytongers since i was 14. Now, we're in the same course so naturally we sit beside each other in every single lectures, study together during every single tests or examinations, and of cos, there wasnt any sparks between us, because we both know we are just good friends!
So why cant my other close guy friends' girlfriends understand that there would be no possiblity that i would by any chance fall for them because we're purely friends. Period. If by any chance i would fall for any of my close guy friends, i would have fell in love with them a long time ago since ive already knew them for so many years!
So you mean i gotta start leaving my close guy friends once they get attached? Then wouldnt that leave me with minimal friends already? I mean, what's the big fuss over a girl who just happens to be a close friend of your boyfriend?
If i were to have a boyfriend, im sure i wouldnt restrict him to hang out with his close girl friends whom he had known for a good few years. Because there should be mutual trust and confidence in each other. No?
And then i start pondering, are my opinions about such stuffs too biased? I should have put myself into their girlfriend's shoes and feel that it is not right to be too close to their rightful possession.
But sorry, i would have to say that that are bullshits.
I am not cheap, not a slut, nor a bitch who wanna be a third party in anyone's relationship. I am just myself, strongly holding on to a friendship that i feel is important to me, because i treat friendships as a very serious matter.
And i can also predict that many others, friends or foes who chanced upon this entry, would start bad-mouthing, cursing and swearing at me.
Am i wrong to say what ive mentioned above? Is my opinion of friends vs relationship wrong?
Or maybe, i am really wrong.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 6:23:00 pm
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Tuesday, November 29
> Rachel's 19th birthday.
On the 26th of November, we celebrated dear Rachel's 19th birthday.
After washing and ironing, i quickly prepared and headed down to Plaza Singapura to meet my lovely barbies for dinner at Thai Express with a yummy mango tango ice cream cake from Swensens.
Its feels so much more cosy and loved eating together from the cake than cutting it up in slices.
The barbies.
Rachel, Ben, Gucci, Pascal, Robin and i headed down to Zouk aftermath while the rest went over to Esplanade to chill and have their girly talk.
Zouk on Saturday = music sucks, crowd sucks even more. But it was spacious enough to dance at ease. The crowd was so terrible it seems like im dancing with senior citizens, my gawd!
Phuture on Saturday = music is not bad, crowd is so-so but it was so sardine packed i kept getting hit and banged and pushed and i had no space to dance at all.
I met Wanshi there and i missed her so damn much! My gosh, her bright fiery red coloured hair gave me quite a shock! And i too saw Olinda and Sylvester Sim, with their own clique of friends of course.
So one by one they all started to leave. Gucci left first, then Ben and Rachel left too. Leaving only myself, Pascal and Robin. Left the club at 3am and went for supper before Robin drove us home.
It was quite a blast.
Dad and mom returned from Shanghai while i was out clubbing. They bought me a few branded bags, a few necklaces, a pair of ankle length boots with really high heels (which i dont think i would wear often cos i'll be super tall then), a bottle of CK Obsession Night perfume and some other small items.
So on the 27th, it was Rachel's official big day. Happy 19th birthday once again darling. *hugs and kisses.
28th - Happy 20th birthday Amos.
And i practically stayed home the whole day because i had cramps that hurt so badly, i was in pain for 2 whole days. wth. I finally knew why i've been so depressed lately. It must have been the pms. I hope my days of depression had come to an end so i can really concentrate on my studies now as ive been missing out quite a lot.
29th- which happens to be today.
Happy 20th birthday my one and only lucky star Jeffrey. I remembered baking you a birthday cake in the middle of the night last year and you ate half of it! And it was a night worth remembering spent at East Coast awaiting for the sun to rise, which we failed to see.
And how could i forget? Happy 20th birthday Mr Alibaba aka Marcus. I hope you didnt get too wasted last night. =)
I hope the shopping trip would still be on tomorrow. sigh.
To end this off,
Please give me a break.
On the 26th of November, we celebrated dear Rachel's 19th birthday.
After washing and ironing, i quickly prepared and headed down to Plaza Singapura to meet my lovely barbies for dinner at Thai Express with a yummy mango tango ice cream cake from Swensens.
Its feels so much more cosy and loved eating together from the cake than cutting it up in slices.
The barbies.
Rachel, Ben, Gucci, Pascal, Robin and i headed down to Zouk aftermath while the rest went over to Esplanade to chill and have their girly talk.
Zouk on Saturday = music sucks, crowd sucks even more. But it was spacious enough to dance at ease. The crowd was so terrible it seems like im dancing with senior citizens, my gawd!
Phuture on Saturday = music is not bad, crowd is so-so but it was so sardine packed i kept getting hit and banged and pushed and i had no space to dance at all.
I met Wanshi there and i missed her so damn much! My gosh, her bright fiery red coloured hair gave me quite a shock! And i too saw Olinda and Sylvester Sim, with their own clique of friends of course.
So one by one they all started to leave. Gucci left first, then Ben and Rachel left too. Leaving only myself, Pascal and Robin. Left the club at 3am and went for supper before Robin drove us home.
It was quite a blast.
Dad and mom returned from Shanghai while i was out clubbing. They bought me a few branded bags, a few necklaces, a pair of ankle length boots with really high heels (which i dont think i would wear often cos i'll be super tall then), a bottle of CK Obsession Night perfume and some other small items.
So on the 27th, it was Rachel's official big day. Happy 19th birthday once again darling. *hugs and kisses.
28th - Happy 20th birthday Amos.
And i practically stayed home the whole day because i had cramps that hurt so badly, i was in pain for 2 whole days. wth. I finally knew why i've been so depressed lately. It must have been the pms. I hope my days of depression had come to an end so i can really concentrate on my studies now as ive been missing out quite a lot.
29th- which happens to be today.
Happy 20th birthday my one and only lucky star Jeffrey. I remembered baking you a birthday cake in the middle of the night last year and you ate half of it! And it was a night worth remembering spent at East Coast awaiting for the sun to rise, which we failed to see.
And how could i forget? Happy 20th birthday Mr Alibaba aka Marcus. I hope you didnt get too wasted last night. =)
I hope the shopping trip would still be on tomorrow. sigh.
To end this off,
Please give me a break.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:10:00 pm
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Thursday, November 24
> Party people, its ladies night.
Zouk.Phuture + MoMo last night with Angie wasa great mistake pretty good. My colleagues were down at Phuture but when they saw me the second time in the toilet, i was already pretty much wasted. Rayner was there, so was Dory. Amos and friends were there too and we played 5-10 till i got wasted and puked 6 times in total and collapsing outside Zouk for an hour before i finally got sober and headed down to MoMo with Angie.
Thanks Angie, Amos and friends for keeping me accompany outside Zouk, trying to get me more sober, and also Hengkai for being concerned.
Saw Jonan, Edwin, Kelvin, Audree and their friends there once i stepped into the dance floor at MoMo. Danced till 4am and headed home.
Ive got a bad hangover, my head's still spinning and thus i skipped school this morning. There are more stuffs to do at home like washing the clothes and mopping the floor. wth.
Somehow i wish it wasnt there where i went, somehow i wish it wasnt you that i see, somehow i wish it wasnt the facade behind the truth, somehow i wish i could trust what i hear, somehow i wish it wasnt you that made my heart flickers. Why bother explaining everything but yet show it right smack in my face before my eyes? Why bother saying whatever you've said to lie to me again and again. Action speaks louder than words. Help me, im falling, sinking, drowning.
Dinner tonight with Wayne. I hope his CLK comes soon so i can have a cruise down Orchard Road and see the lightings. hiak hiak.
Zouk.Phuture + MoMo last night with Angie was
Thanks Angie, Amos and friends for keeping me accompany outside Zouk, trying to get me more sober, and also Hengkai for being concerned.
Saw Jonan, Edwin, Kelvin, Audree and their friends there once i stepped into the dance floor at MoMo. Danced till 4am and headed home.
Ive got a bad hangover, my head's still spinning and thus i skipped school this morning. There are more stuffs to do at home like washing the clothes and mopping the floor. wth.
Somehow i wish it wasnt there where i went, somehow i wish it wasnt you that i see, somehow i wish it wasnt the facade behind the truth, somehow i wish i could trust what i hear, somehow i wish it wasnt you that made my heart flickers. Why bother explaining everything but yet show it right smack in my face before my eyes? Why bother saying whatever you've said to lie to me again and again. Action speaks louder than words. Help me, im falling, sinking, drowning.
Dinner tonight with Wayne. I hope his CLK comes soon so i can have a cruise down Orchard Road and see the lightings. hiak hiak.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:13:00 pm
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Monday, November 21
> Short update
SNAG had done me great injustice, no?
Ive been busy these days. Besides the mundane stuffs like going to school and reporting for work, ive been meeting a couple of friends for overnight mahjong, dinner, ktv, movies, chilling out and trying to get plenty of beauty rest which i believe i have failed to do so just yet.
Dad and mom were out of town since Friday night, which meant that ive indulged in lotsa late nights, not forgetting the amount of household chores ive to handle. Washing, ironing, cleaning and feeding Ebony, sweeping and moping.
Im so sleepy right now i guess i'll go to bed soon. Life's a bore when things dont happen the way you expect it to be.
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
[Chorus]
I miss you like crazy
Even more then words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down, when your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
SNAG had done me great injustice, no?
Ive been busy these days. Besides the mundane stuffs like going to school and reporting for work, ive been meeting a couple of friends for overnight mahjong, dinner, ktv, movies, chilling out and trying to get plenty of beauty rest which i believe i have failed to do so just yet.
Dad and mom were out of town since Friday night, which meant that ive indulged in lotsa late nights, not forgetting the amount of household chores ive to handle. Washing, ironing, cleaning and feeding Ebony, sweeping and moping.
Im so sleepy right now i guess i'll go to bed soon. Life's a bore when things dont happen the way you expect it to be.
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
[Chorus]
I miss you like crazy
Even more then words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down, when your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:50:00 pm
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Sunday, November 13
> My new love. <3
I hereby officially declare that im in love, once again.
He's the cutest, most charming guy i've ever seen. My heart melts every time i see him smile and i cant help but to smile back at him.
He's sooooooo cute and irresistable, and he is
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JONATHAN BENNETT!
You people had just gotta agree with me that he is the cutest guy ever, and im going gaga all over for him. Gosh!
I love it when he smiles this way. And i think Shawn resembles him in a certain way. But my oh my, he makes my heart skip a bit!
He's the man, my man! No trash. <3
I hereby officially declare that im in love, once again.
He's the cutest, most charming guy i've ever seen. My heart melts every time i see him smile and i cant help but to smile back at him.
He's sooooooo cute and irresistable, and he is
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JONATHAN BENNETT!
You people had just gotta agree with me that he is the cutest guy ever, and im going gaga all over for him. Gosh!
I love it when he smiles this way. And i think Shawn resembles him in a certain way. But my oh my, he makes my heart skip a bit!
He's the man, my man! No trash. <3
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:05:00 pm
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Thursday, November 10
> A very random post
School's been pretty manageable so far. Except for the fact that i dont understand what's going on during lectures because i havent been paying much attention. Im giving myself one week to stone and stare into space during lectures and from next week onwards, im gonna make sure that im attentive throughout and take down lotsa notes for my own benefit.
This semester is a pretty slack one with only 15 hours and 40 minutes. No kidding, because the 5 hours communication skills class is now changed to only 40 minutes. How cool is that? That gives me more time to work and do revision. Im loving it.
Dad havent been talking to me since last Friday after a heated argument which i believed the whole block could here us shouting on top of our voices at each other in the middle of the night say 1am. I dont know how much longer dad is gonna avoid me or pretending i dont exist, i cant believe a man at the age of 57 can still be so childish.
I had my cds lecture this evening. Quite glad that i add and drop and entered my current one - Culture & Expression. Dont get me wrong, it aint interesting in the least bit. But there are so many familiar faces in the lecture theatre today, and i know for sure i wouldnt be lonely. Thank goodness Anisah, Denise, Shalyn, Kevin, Nicky, Emelia and Sean are all in the same class as i am. yay.
Anyway, thanks to my barbies and the guys from my course for cheering me up and being there for me. Ive seriously no idea why our lecturer said "No holding hands here" but that made me laugh, which unfortunately caused you guys to see my teary face when i turned.
Im no longer a happy bunny, hopping around in merrylandoflove.
School's been pretty manageable so far. Except for the fact that i dont understand what's going on during lectures because i havent been paying much attention. Im giving myself one week to stone and stare into space during lectures and from next week onwards, im gonna make sure that im attentive throughout and take down lotsa notes for my own benefit.
This semester is a pretty slack one with only 15 hours and 40 minutes. No kidding, because the 5 hours communication skills class is now changed to only 40 minutes. How cool is that? That gives me more time to work and do revision. Im loving it.
Dad havent been talking to me since last Friday after a heated argument which i believed the whole block could here us shouting on top of our voices at each other in the middle of the night say 1am. I dont know how much longer dad is gonna avoid me or pretending i dont exist, i cant believe a man at the age of 57 can still be so childish.
I had my cds lecture this evening. Quite glad that i add and drop and entered my current one - Culture & Expression. Dont get me wrong, it aint interesting in the least bit. But there are so many familiar faces in the lecture theatre today, and i know for sure i wouldnt be lonely. Thank goodness Anisah, Denise, Shalyn, Kevin, Nicky, Emelia and Sean are all in the same class as i am. yay.
Anyway, thanks to my barbies and the guys from my course for cheering me up and being there for me. Ive seriously no idea why our lecturer said "No holding hands here" but that made me laugh, which unfortunately caused you guys to see my teary face when i turned.
Im no longer a happy bunny, hopping around in merrylandoflove.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:57:00 pm
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Sunday, November 6
> Holiday's gone, the new sem awaits.
Yesterday was a great day spent at Sunsetbay with the usual few. We were supposed to meet at 11am but as i was about to leave my place, it started pouring really badly and we were all forced to stay at home. I fell asleep soon after before Leroy called to tell me to leave my house soon and meet in an hour's time. By the time we met, ate lunch and settled down at Sunsetbay, it was already 2pm.
But it was so fun though there wasnt any sun, because Spermy and Marcel took so many crazy shots which got us laughing so hard my tummy hurts. Good training for my abs aye? It was really funny, i'll upload and elaborate more when Denise uploads the pictures.
Left the place earlier with Denise and Celine. Celine went home while Denise and i headed down to meet the F4s + a friend and Wendy at Fisherman Village for dinner. It was such a hearty meal which got me really bloated at only $13. Yummy.
Today, my sis and i hit town to do some shopping. And of course, how could we not call Jingyang along? So we met up, went shopping but didnt bought anything much. I had a hair cut because my hair was in a total mess. Its much thinner and neater now. Since Raymond, my previous hairstylist is back in Malaysia, Tommy cut my hair for me. Not bad too.
The 3 of us dined at Mushroom Pot after that. The meal was fantabulous. The food is really good, but that came with a price. The meal was kinda costly. The total bill was $70 even after a discount of $20 thanks to Jingyang's voucher. But the food is really good. Yummy.
And so, 2 months of break had ended. Its now time to pack my heart and put em all into studies. School's starting tomorrow already. Lets recall what ive accomplished during these 2 months of holiday.
Yesterday was a great day spent at Sunsetbay with the usual few. We were supposed to meet at 11am but as i was about to leave my place, it started pouring really badly and we were all forced to stay at home. I fell asleep soon after before Leroy called to tell me to leave my house soon and meet in an hour's time. By the time we met, ate lunch and settled down at Sunsetbay, it was already 2pm.
But it was so fun though there wasnt any sun, because Spermy and Marcel took so many crazy shots which got us laughing so hard my tummy hurts. Good training for my abs aye? It was really funny, i'll upload and elaborate more when Denise uploads the pictures.
Left the place earlier with Denise and Celine. Celine went home while Denise and i headed down to meet the F4s + a friend and Wendy at Fisherman Village for dinner. It was such a hearty meal which got me really bloated at only $13. Yummy.
Today, my sis and i hit town to do some shopping. And of course, how could we not call Jingyang along? So we met up, went shopping but didnt bought anything much. I had a hair cut because my hair was in a total mess. Its much thinner and neater now. Since Raymond, my previous hairstylist is back in Malaysia, Tommy cut my hair for me. Not bad too.
The 3 of us dined at Mushroom Pot after that. The meal was fantabulous. The food is really good, but that came with a price. The meal was kinda costly. The total bill was $70 even after a discount of $20 thanks to Jingyang's voucher. But the food is really good. Yummy.
And so, 2 months of break had ended. Its now time to pack my heart and put em all into studies. School's starting tomorrow already. Lets recall what ive accomplished during these 2 months of holiday.
- Spent quality time and met up with a number of friends i havent seen nor heard for a really long time.
- Played mahjong twice.
- Went Ktv and movies like finally.
- Work work work + work.
- Went clubbing.
- Dance performances and tons of practices.
- Crashed Sentosa.
- Tanning sessions with Denise and Celine.
And that's basically what ive done. It was still great nonetheless though i didnt really get ample rest because i spent most of the time working. Awaiting for the next long holidays as im most prolly flying off to Bangkok, and Redang, hopefully.
Its time to do a little packing up and get ready for school tomorrow. Im actually looking forward to it cos i miss school. I miss my friends and studying actually. lol.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:28:00 pm
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Wednesday, November 2
> ramblings, mumblings, grumblings.
Ive never come across anyonebitchier than you are. My gawd, are you really such a bitch or are you just full of green? Dont you have any faith and trust in the things you do or the things you possess? Is it him that you dont trust, or is it yourself that you have no faith in? For Christ's sake, stop the jealousy shite or possessive actions, its making me sick.
Gosh, i cant believe it. Thinking back, was that a compliment or was it an insult? I'll take it as a compliment baby. Yeah, what can i say? Dont you girls just hate me?
Im not a happy bunny today. I was practically yearning for a miracle but all end with a disappointment. I feel so dumb suddenly. I might be the joke of the century again. Yeah, time after time, i feel like a joker. Being the item to be laughed at. How funny heh.
Is it true that girls loves jerks? Geez. I really hate jerks, i really do. Then again, im not so sure about it. But jerks do change too right? Like once they fall for a girl really deeply, they wont be a jerk again yes? But then again, a leopard can never change its spot. But but but.. Oh damn, to hell with that.
Okay, this is getting random. Im working everyday this week except for the weekends so im kinda jaded of living. Pardon me. Im so so so tired and i havent been sleeping well. I almost cried to sleep last night because i was feeling so down, so moody, so empty. I just needed someone to talk to, someone to smoke with, someone to cheer me up whether or not their words are words of wisdom or simply nonsense. But, i went to bed, cold and lonely, like a dying bunny. Its so hard for anyone to comprehend how i feel. Its even harder to make me smile. But yet, i found another who is able to make me smile and laugh at all his silly words when i was fuming mad. Then again, wasnt he the one that made me cry? Well yes, so stop thinking about the past. Its over.
Period. Stop the emo thingy, its pissing me off.
Im a strong girl what, who cares about such emotions? I'll get over it. When school starts, i'll be drowning myself with my studies, dance and work. I dont have any leisure time to start thinking of the past or present, not even the future. I have no time to feel emo. Yay!
Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, im gonna eat some worms. booooooooo
Hated by many, loved by few.
why arh?
Ive never come across anyone
Gosh, i cant believe it. Thinking back, was that a compliment or was it an insult? I'll take it as a compliment baby. Yeah, what can i say? Dont you girls just hate me?
Im not a happy bunny today. I was practically yearning for a miracle but all end with a disappointment. I feel so dumb suddenly. I might be the joke of the century again. Yeah, time after time, i feel like a joker. Being the item to be laughed at. How funny heh.
Is it true that girls loves jerks? Geez. I really hate jerks, i really do. Then again, im not so sure about it. But jerks do change too right? Like once they fall for a girl really deeply, they wont be a jerk again yes? But then again, a leopard can never change its spot. But but but.. Oh damn, to hell with that.
Okay, this is getting random. Im working everyday this week except for the weekends so im kinda jaded of living. Pardon me. Im so so so tired and i havent been sleeping well. I almost cried to sleep last night because i was feeling so down, so moody, so empty. I just needed someone to talk to, someone to smoke with, someone to cheer me up whether or not their words are words of wisdom or simply nonsense. But, i went to bed, cold and lonely, like a dying bunny. Its so hard for anyone to comprehend how i feel. Its even harder to make me smile. But yet, i found another who is able to make me smile and laugh at all his silly words when i was fuming mad. Then again, wasnt he the one that made me cry? Well yes, so stop thinking about the past. Its over.
Period. Stop the emo thingy, its pissing me off.
Im a strong girl what, who cares about such emotions? I'll get over it. When school starts, i'll be drowning myself with my studies, dance and work. I dont have any leisure time to start thinking of the past or present, not even the future. I have no time to feel emo. Yay!
Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, im gonna eat some worms. booooooooo
Hated by many, loved by few.
why arh?
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:42:00 pm
___________________________________________
Tuesday, November 1
> Halloween 2005
Happy Halloween 2005
This year, i finally got the chance to club on Halloween. But sad to say, my desired place to club at Zouk wasnot fulfilled as i didnt have the time to hunt for costumes. I wanted to be the princess of Egypt or some Arabian girl, but no, didnt have the chance to. Next year perhaps.
I was really grouchy before i left because firstly, my manicure got smudged while i was changing. Secondly, my dog was chewing on my Adidas jacket and now the zip is totally screwed. Thirdly, Celine, Spermy and Marcel played me out at the very last minute. I was already 3/4 prepared and all set to club.
So i called Derrick and Wayne. Though Wayne was really tired and didnt have the intention to club, im so grateful he made an effort to pick me up at my place and drive me down, squeezing through the crowd and dancing with me and Derrick at the dance floor.
Chinablack was where i went. If it wasnt for dear Jackson and someone i dont wish to name, i wouldnt have been there. The music was really bad, kept changing the genre song after song. But still, it wasnt a fruitless trip. And i totally made a fool outta myself twice. I was so so embarrassed i wished i could dig a hole and bury my face.
The costumes some of them wore were really neat. It was so cool i swear im gonna wear a really outstanding costume to Halloween next year. Zouk definately!
As i didnt have any costume for the party, i tried to make myself look as gothic as possible, but not to the extent of exaggerating make up. I wore black from head to toe, but it would have been better if i had black netted stockings.
The 3 of us were mostly chilling at the bar upstairs and not squeezing with the crowd at the dance floor.
Myself and Wayne
Derrick borrowed my eyeliner and made his eye really black.
After which, met David and Leonard downstairs to chill at Macs and guess who drove me home this time round? No, not Wayne, cos he left earlier. No, not David cos he wasnt driving. It was Leonard! And that means, HE PASSED HIS TP! Wooooo, finally! It was quite a ride though.
And guess who i saw at Black? Douglas! But we didnt chat much anyway.
Halloween also meant that it was Bird's big day! Happy 18th birthday dude.
And since its 4 in the morning, Happy Deepavali to all (whether or not we celebrate this day).
Love,
Yours truly.
Happy Halloween 2005
This year, i finally got the chance to club on Halloween. But sad to say, my desired place to club at Zouk wasnot fulfilled as i didnt have the time to hunt for costumes. I wanted to be the princess of Egypt or some Arabian girl, but no, didnt have the chance to. Next year perhaps.
I was really grouchy before i left because firstly, my manicure got smudged while i was changing. Secondly, my dog was chewing on my Adidas jacket and now the zip is totally screwed. Thirdly, Celine, Spermy and Marcel played me out at the very last minute. I was already 3/4 prepared and all set to club.
So i called Derrick and Wayne. Though Wayne was really tired and didnt have the intention to club, im so grateful he made an effort to pick me up at my place and drive me down, squeezing through the crowd and dancing with me and Derrick at the dance floor.
Chinablack was where i went. If it wasnt for dear Jackson and someone i dont wish to name, i wouldnt have been there. The music was really bad, kept changing the genre song after song. But still, it wasnt a fruitless trip. And i totally made a fool outta myself twice. I was so so embarrassed i wished i could dig a hole and bury my face.
The costumes some of them wore were really neat. It was so cool i swear im gonna wear a really outstanding costume to Halloween next year. Zouk definately!
As i didnt have any costume for the party, i tried to make myself look as gothic as possible, but not to the extent of exaggerating make up. I wore black from head to toe, but it would have been better if i had black netted stockings.
The 3 of us were mostly chilling at the bar upstairs and not squeezing with the crowd at the dance floor.
Myself and Wayne
Derrick borrowed my eyeliner and made his eye really black.
After which, met David and Leonard downstairs to chill at Macs and guess who drove me home this time round? No, not Wayne, cos he left earlier. No, not David cos he wasnt driving. It was Leonard! And that means, HE PASSED HIS TP! Wooooo, finally! It was quite a ride though.
And guess who i saw at Black? Douglas! But we didnt chat much anyway.
Halloween also meant that it was Bird's big day! Happy 18th birthday dude.
And since its 4 in the morning, Happy Deepavali to all (whether or not we celebrate this day).
Love,
Yours truly.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:02:00 am
___________________________________________
* yours truly.
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